Wombicus squishticum
Our first was born with what some health professionals may have called a “mild deformity”. He had bruising across one side of his face (fine), a flattened ear (common), and a foot that was bent up to his shin. Hmmm. The midwives weren’t concerned; the baby had simply ‘maxed out’ the space given to him in the womb. Within hours, the bruising had diminished, the ear had popped into shape, and the foot. . .well, the foot needed some work.
Our midwife massaged it, and told us that these kinds of things can straighten out in time, but if we were concerned then she would arrange for us to see a pediatrician. In the worst case scenario, the doctor might recommend having a cast put on. The idea of putting a cast on a newborn was laughable even then.
We had to have a sense of humour about the whole thing. “The boy”, as he was called, still hadn’t been named at this point, and “Byron” was actually on the list. In the end, it was nixed, and not because of the club-foot connection with the poet of old, but because the latter had waaay too many other issues.
The pediatrician they recommended was a cool guy, down to earth, accepting of our “natural” tendencies. He was as unconcerned as the midwives, and he had the same recommendations. He told us that a baby’s bones are soft and pliable and he said that regular massage could help the foot find its natural position. He also mentioned a baby cast, but didn’t really recommend it. If we were still concerned, though, he would refer us to a specialist.
By this point, we had seen results from two weeks of massage, and we had all the professional reassurance we needed, but we were curious. What might a specialist say? So we went to see him.
The “specialist” was a very dry, humourless Englishman, who examined our baby, and told us he had a condition known as (insert lengthy Latin name here). He said that the only way to correct the DEFORMITY was to have a CAST put on, and that we should have it done ASAP otherwise the child may NEVER be able to WALK PROPERLY. Hmmm. What did you say the condition was called? (Insert lengthy Latin name again). Also known as wombicus squishticum?
Needless to say, he didn’t find that funny. But it begged the question: if there was an official medical term for every single irregularity in the human condition, then there also had to be an official medical term for being 100% healthy; what could it be? Only one doctor of the many we asked, didn’t think we were being cheeky, and said she honestly didn’t know.
We made the decision to continue with the massage, as recommended by the midwives and the pediatrician, and by the time the babe was a month old, his body was perfectly symmetrical. He’s six years old now, and has never had any physical problems as a result of being cramped in the womb.
It was a worthwhile experience, though. Any interaction with any health professional is always worthwhile; not always enjoyable, but always an education.
Related Posts
No related posts.
